This is the seventh installment in the Critical Dementia Skills (CDS) series. For more information on the series, start HERE. You can also click on the CDS tags in the blog for more.
Perhaps the only thing that is as complex as dementia is the dynamic nature of families. Every family is unique and when you consider the number of family members, other family responsibilities, career situations, the strength of the relationships, and sometimes geographic locations.
When you add in a probable diagnosis of any of the dementia types, it can magnify any family weaknesses and cause great stress for everyone.
While there are no perfect families, we can learn about the qualities and habits that may create the best family dynamics.
In my experience, high-performance care partnering families do some or all of the following, most of the time:
- Put the person living with dementia first
- Communicate well with the rest of the family and person living with dementia
- Have clear written expectations of each family member, which may change with the situation
- Share the load and sacrifice in some way: by time, by skill, or financial contribution when needed
- Have the written end of life care decisions of the person living with dementia and a commitment to honor them as best as you can
- Understand how to discuss differing opinions and options in a loving way
- Show gratitude to each other
- Count the blessings of having a family, not just the conflicts
- Forgive each other when mistakes are made (and apologize when a mistake is made)
I can imagine that you are thinking this is impossible – some of our families may be challenged to do these things even without a chronic illness! I have not seen a family with all of these qualities, all of the time, but I have seen these qualities in families make a huge difference. Each one helps and it’s worth the time to pick one for improvement. When caring and talented people get together for a greater cause – and with prayer, amazing things can happen. Take a leap of faith and put your energy into this. Remember we grow when we move outside of our comfort zone.
Future articles will explore how families can increase cooperation in these areas. If you’re interested in a unique plan for your family, please reach out to us for coaching.
Questions for you to think, write down, and share in the comments section (any or all):
- Which of the above positive qualities and habits does your family have, some of the time?
- Which positive quality or habit that your family is missing would make the biggest difference?
- What is the largest obstacle to any of the qualities or habits?
Thank you for reading this far and for commenting. Let’s tell hundreds more care partners about this concept by sharing the article. God bless you.
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