Critical Dementia Skill #10 Seeking Self-Care

This is the 10th installment in the Critical Dementia Skills (CDS) series. For more information on the series, start HERE. You can also click on the CDS tags in the blog for more.

If you have flown on a commercial airplane before AND paid attention to the safety briefing by the flight attendant, you will recall from the instructions that oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling in the event of a sudden drop in cabin pressure when flying 14,000 feet or above (OK, I looked that number up).  Before we place the mask on someone else who needs help, we are told to place our oxygen mask on first because if we pass out first by not having a mask, we will not be able to put a mask on our loved one – we’re both in trouble.

It’s an often-used metaphor for caregiving/care partnering; if the care partner does not care for themselves (for whatever reason), who will take care of their loved one with dementia? This is not a good outcome for the care partner, the person living with dementia, or for the rest of the family.

“Self-care” involves doing as much as possible to live a balanced and healthy life to be around this earth longer and feeling better in that time. There’s that “easier said than done” gremlin in my head again. We all face challenges to this skill, whether it’s guilt for taking a break, going to the doctor, or visiting the gym.  So here are some inter-related domains and a few examples to kick off this introductory post on self-care:

Spiritual

• Pray daily and count your blessings
• Attend Mass
• Go to confession regularly

Physical

• Attend primary care and specialist visits
• Stick with age-appropriate health screenings and tests
• Join a gym to do any exercise that you enjoy

Mental

• See a therapist on a regular basis
• Consider a care partner coach to help you set and follow goals

Emotional/Social

• Attend a support group in-person or online
• Stay connected with your family and best friends

Social

• Hire or ask someone to give you breaks – go out to lunch with friends
• Join a club related to a hobby, like gardening

Financial/Legal

• Update your will and advanced directive
• Get help to organize your finances and insurance policies

The guilt that many care partners feel for doing anything out of the house – even for their health – is very real! Here are two things to consider:

• Start small and prioritize these areas; you don’t have to do it all at once.
• Understand that these areas support each other; a therapist can work with you on guilt, prayer can give you hope; a support group will encourage you to exercise or take a break…and on and on.

Questions for you to think, write down, and share in the comments section (any or all):

• In which areas of self-care do you feel that you are doing well?
• Which areas of self-care do you feel could be improved?
• What other areas or examples can you add to the article’s list?

Thank you for reading this far and for commenting. Let’s tell hundreds more care partners about this concept by sharing the article. God bless you.

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