This is the fifth installment in the Critical Dementia Skills (CDS) series. For more information on the series, start HERE. You can also click on the CDS tags in the blog for more.
We introduced the critical dementia skill of Building your Dementia Team in CDS 2.0 and now turn to another team that’s best understood as a network.
All of us belong to networks of people through family, friends, work colleagues, fellow parishioners, and other activities. The size and strength of these networks will vary and there are few things like dementia that test the quality of the networks.
When you and your family are impacted by dementia, strong networks can be the source of emotional strength that can help. Let face it, we do not need 20, 50, 100 people to provide hands-on care. What we do need more of are people who we know are praying for us, thinking about us, and pulling for us to succeed on this journey.
A 2006 study by Drentea and colleagues found that having a higher number of visitors helps the care partner feel more emotionally supported than a lower number, and this may be more helpful than physical support.
We could wait for family and friends to visit us. We could complain about no or few visitors, or we can be proactive,
We can reach out to family and friends and encourage them to visit if they are not doing it on their own. Yes, it’s complicated. Perhaps you feel that if you have to ask, you would rather them not visit. Maybe you have too much pride to ask. Yes, it’s complicated.
Consider that if you invite them to visit, you cannot say in the future that you did not try. Consider that by reaching out, you are really giving them a gift – an opportunity to interact, an opportunity to not regret missing out when your loved one has passed away.
When recruiting for your emotional network, ask about what the obstacle may be. Offer to educate them if they are not certain how to act or what to say. Encourage them that their loved one is still there, even if you have to be patient and look closely. Offer options of visitation and work with what may be best for the visitor and loved one with dementia and you as the care partner: home visit, phone call, video call, a meal, or walk. Yes, it’s complicated and we do the best that we can.
For more on this topic listen to a Peace with Dementia Podcast episode found at this show notes link: https://goo.gl/b88iGy and read the second Joyful Mystery in The Peace with Dementia Rosary.
Questions for you to think, write down, and share in the comments section (any or all):
- Who’s in your emotional network (the type of relationship, not names)?
- What can you do to include more in this network (though it’s not just about quantity)?
Thank you for reading this far and for commenting. Let’s tell hundreds more care partners about this concept by sharing the article. God bless you.
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Literature Cited:
Drentea, P., Clay, O., Roth, D., Mittelman, M. (2006). Predictors of improvement in social support: Five-year effects of a structured intervention for caregivers of spouses with Alzheimer’s disease. Social Science & Medicine, 63(4), 957-967. Abstract
