1. Visit a Medical Professional
Advice from your physician could help you face this challenge sooner and more effectively. They will also help eliminate potentially reversible causes of memory impairment, such as an infection, hypothyroidism, or other treatable conditions. Medicare covers visits for cognitive assessments.
2. Write Down Healthcare and Other Wishes Immediately
Eventually, dementia robs us of the ability to communicate clearly or to communicate at all. Writing down wishes on decisions such as feeding tubes, ventilators, and CPR, as well as simple comfort decisions, can save pain for that person, and heartache for caregivers left guessing what they would have wanted. Said a more positive way, declaring wishes can give peace of mind to the person living with dementia, as well as to family members. There are good ways to start this difficult conversation, such as mentioning an unfortunate end-of-life situation you know about personally or read about in the media.
3. Be Proactive to Keep Family and Friends Close
Sometimes dementia sends family and friends running for fear of not knowing what to say or do. The research literature informs us that visits from family and friends reduce caregiver burden. Educate them on how to handle awkward situations as you learn yourself. Take cues from your loved one. Resources: Free audio and article on this topic.
4. Religion & Spirituality
Research shows religion & spirituality that have been important to someone during their lifetime can be a comfort for someone with dementia & their care partner. Organized religious services, private prayer, and involvement in a faith-based community should continue to every extent possible. Help your loved one to be active in this important domain. Explore the resources at DementiaRosary.com for more information.
5. Experiencing Ambiguous Loss?
Many family members experience an unclear loss since the person living with dementia is still alive, yet not the same person. This causes confusing emotions and is associated with freezing care partner proactivity and closing out the person living with dementia. The book Loving Someone Who Has Dementia is recommended as a first step to building resiliency.
6. Find or Create a Support Group
Support groups offer important education, a sense of belonging, and a safe environment to vent. Fellow care partners offer wisdom, tips, and recommendations of medical providers (& even hairdressers). Click HERE if looking for a support group, either sponsored or member-supported.
7. Keep Your Loved One with Dementia Engaged
Geriatrician Bill Thomas, MD says, “the plagues of loneliness, helplessness, and boredom account for the bulk of suffering among our elders.” Provide meaningful activities that relate to the person’s life history, hobbies, and occupation. Personalized music has been shown to benefit many persons living with dementia as well! Resources: Music website and Activity article.
8. Know That Behaviors are Communication
Behaviors, especially those that are frustrating to a care partner, are many times the person with dementia trying to communicate feelings, needs, and distress. It’s time to try to discover their root causes. A journal comes in handy here to see patterns and then think about causes.
9. Remember Your Loved One is Still There
Your loved one with dementia still feels emotion and may also experience moments of clarity. It is certainly worth your time and effort to be truly present with them.
