This article was written for a Mary, Queen of Peace bulletin in November 2018. It can be produced in other church bulletins if printed in its entirety.
Finding Peace with Dementia
The month of November marks two special recognitions for families experiencing dementia, National Alzheimer’s Awareness Month and National Family Caregivers Month. Alzheimer’s Awareness has grown to include other causes of dementia besides Alzheimer’s disease, such as Vascular dementia, Dementia with Lewy Bodies, Frontotemporal Degeneration, Parkinson’s with Dementia, Traumatic Brain Injury, and others. Rather than a specific disease, “dementia” describes a broad group of symptoms, that includes memory impairment, in addition to impaired judgment, difficulty in concentrating, communication challenges, disorientation of time and place, and other symptoms. Here are some tips if you suspect dementia is present:
- See your primary care doctor. He or she can discuss symptoms and rule out causes that can be reversed, such as an infection, vitamin deficiency, thyroid issues, lack of sleep, and others. They can refer you to a neurologist or neuropsychologist as needed.
- Treat persons living with dementia with love and compassion. Dementia is a scary condition and the goal is maintaining dignity and quality of life. Behaviors that are frustrating to caregivers are often attempts by your loved one to communicate discomfort or needs.
- Keep visiting. While some friends and family stop coming around, research has shown that visiting the caregiver and person living with dementia creates valuable emotional support to avoid isolation and depression. We all need the connection!
- Work with God. A research study found that “working with God,” meaning we take steps to improve the situation and also actively surrender control to God, is associated with lower levels of caregiver depression (Rathier, 2013).
- Pray for others. Lift up the intentions of others experiencing dementia in their families. You may pray for their prayer requests and post your own requests at www.DementiaRosary.com.
- Attend a support group. Create or find a local support group for fellowship and education. Many can be found at www.PeaceWithDementia.com/groups
- Learn about Ambiguous Loss (AL). AL is a constant grieving that many caregivers experience because their loved one living with dementia is physically present, but has changed so much psychologically. It can increase the risk of depression, close-out of the person living with dementia, and caregiver immobilization (freezing) if not addressed.
- Petition to Saints. Ask St. Dymphna, Patron Saint of brain disorders for peace, and St. John the Evangelist, Patron Saint of caregivers for strength.
- Count your blessings. In every challenging situation, including dementia, we can find things to be grateful for. Focus on and appreciate them.
- Focus on Meaning. Studies have shown that caregivers who were able to discover meaning were able to cope better with and transcend the challenges on the journey with dementia. How are you growing from this unexpected journey?
Matthew Estrade is a gerontologist, speaker, and a member of the Mary, Queen of Peace Parish Health Ministry in Mandeville, LA. His book The Peace with Dementia Rosary will be out in late December 2018. You can post your dementia-related prayer requests and find free education at www.DementiaRosary.com. Matthew’s email is Matt@CarePartnerMentoring.com.
